And So It Begins...

There are few things that provide a more difficult wake-up call about your life than a baby shower in which you are the only one not married/beginning a family. Between the moments of "how are THEY so far ahead of me?! I went to college! I did all the things!" and "they found boys?! How on earth did they find boys they liked enough to marry?" was a gut-wrenchingly empty feeling of failure.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think my college degree is a failure. I loved my time in school, and I loved everything I learned. But, as much as I love my certificate, it's not very cuddly when it gets cold outside.

So, I left the shower. I left the shower and took Madchen for a walk. We walked, and I raced to the canal, determined to get off the main streets before I started to cry.

As we walked down the path, I had my little pity mope fest where I cursed the universe and all my bad dating luck. Madchen, being the independent old lady dog that she is, likes to do her own thing  and spent most of her time aimlessly wandering around the canal road. Occasionally I would turn back to wait for her, just to make sure she was still coming while reassuring myself that I wasn't alone.

I watched her meander along the path, sniffing things hear and there, and she looked SO happy. Her tail wagged and wagged as we walked, and she was totally content. She has arthritic hips and fatty tumors all over, but she was perfectly happy to be out on a walk.

That's when I realized what I need to change. As hard as my situation seems to be sometimes, and as much as I want everything to be different, there are so many reasons to be happy. This life IS good, and I'm determined to prove it to myself.